


The Color Wheel

by AureliaAstralis



Series: Auburn and Gold [2]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Gen, One-Shots, Third Shinobi World War, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-01-16
Updated: 2013-01-27
Packaged: 2017-11-25 17:41:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/641368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AureliaAstralis/pseuds/AureliaAstralis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of one-shots based on the story "Auburn and Gold," separated into four arcs. Time travel, AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Arc I, Childhood: Maroon / Red

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The red marks on Inuzuka Tsume's cheeks are more than just tattoos.

Every time she looks into a mirror, her eyes are immediately drawn to the marks streaking down her cheeks. They are a part of her, as much as her hands and her nose and her teeth, and when she traces the triangular shapes on her face she feels nothing but smooth skin. She cannot easily remember a day where they have not marked her face as a tangible reminder of what makes her Inuzuka Tsume.

* * *

They are not natural; they are traditional.

Tsume has always found it amusing when people ask her about her tattoos as if they are birthmarks, but it is less amusing when civilians treat them as if they are blemishes on her skin she is ashamed of. It is not amusing as much as it is insulting.

She is proud of the marks she wears on her cheeks, bearing them like badges of honor. In some ways, she is more proud of her tattoos than she is of her hitai-ate, as blasphemous as it may be. But the way she sees it, whereas that metal plate can be lost and replaced like a pair of worn out shoes, her tattoos will stay with her until her dying day. They cannot be shed or thrown away the way people can shed their loyalties and throw away their morals. They are vows of loyalty that are grafted beneath her skin and into her body, and therefore they cannot be loosely removed.

* * *

They are not just triangles; they are symbols of a partnership.

The Inuzuka have no clan symbol like the Uchiha fan or the Hyuuga flame to embroider on their clothes, but with their tattoos and ninken partners, there is no need for one.

Her tattoos, like every other Inuzuka, are inverted triangles for a reason. The bond between her clan and their ninken go back further than the founding of Konoha, but during a time where alliances were easily broken the Inuzuka clan made theirs permanent. There are many theories about the original form of the tattoos, the most common being the shapes of a dog's canine teeth or its snout, but Tsume believes they mimic dog claws. After all, the first Inuzuka's markings weren't tattoos, but scars - carved into the cheeks by a dog's own claws.

* * *

They are not done in ink; they are done in chakra and blood.

The markings on Tsume's cheeks are not like the tacky civilian tattoos she sees on aging men and promiscuous women, done without any true intent. Brush ink is so common it holds little meaning, but the combination of chakra and blood signify heavier things.

The first layer of her tattoos are made with her own blood, infused with her own chakra. They are laid into her cheeks as a display of self-awareness and humility, a brand that reminds her of her sworn oaths and her personal morals, her nindo. They are a reminder of her purpose of gaining power to protect instead of gaining power for the sake of power, and that arrogance and pride are only steps away from downfall. She knows she can be cocky, but one thought of her tattoos reminds her that she is not invincible; she bleeds the same red as everyone else, and it is there every time she stares into her reflection.

* * *

They are not only displays of clan and village loyalty; they are also examples of familial love and friendly affection.

On top of her primary tattoos are layers of clan blood seals; sensing seals from her Ma, strength seals from her Pa, and communication seals from Kuro. They are family and therefore closest to her; little runs deeper than bonds of blood.

But some things run equally deep, like strong friendships and even stronger bonds, bonds made through mutual pain and suffering. It is one of the highest honors to be asked to donate blood for Inuzuka tattoo seals, but Tsume does not tell this to Yoshino nor Tenten when she brings them with her to the Inuzuka seal master. When Yoshino grants her protection seals and Tenten gifts her with stealth seals, she doesn't tell them that they are now Inuzuka in all but blood. Instead, she refers to them as her sisters, and she knows that is enough for Yoshino and Tenten to understand.

* * *

They are not just symbolic; they are also a contract.

It is the only thing she loathes about her tattoos, because for all her pride and loyalty to her clan, they have taken away her privilege to choose. Along with her own blood, the blood of her parents, her partner, and her friends, her tattoos hold something else: the blood of her future mate.

Arranged marriages are common things for shinobi clans, but Tsume hadn't thought of being forced into such an arrangement because her Ma and her Pa had fallen in love on their own. She should have known better, but it is already too late. Her future is engraved on her face for the world to see, and she is bound to her future partner in a blood contract that cannot be broken for fear of death. She will not know his identity until she is sixteen, but she still cannot decide which is worse: death, or a future with someone she may very well end up hating. It is a constant point of contention between her and her parents, but she cannot do anything about it. Her future has been made for her.

* * *

The red marks on Tsume's cheeks are more than just mere tattoos. They are the most important elements of her life, engraved in her body as a reminder of who she is and what she will be. They are written reminders of her loyalties, her ancestry, her nindo, her family, and her future; and whenever she wanders too far from herself, the maroon triangles on her face bring her back, and she is Inuzuka Tsume again.

* * *

**"Make the most of yourself for that is all there is of you."**  - Ralph Waldo Emerson


	2. Arc I, Childhood: Tiger / Orange

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their first C-rank is not what Shikaku expects...

When Hokage-sama reads out the C-rank mission list, Shikaku is both apprehensive and worried. With the war breaking out, D-ranks are now either being regulated to Academy students or dropped completely, something that Shikaku doesn't like all that much. It's not so much that he actually likes painting fences or babysitting little brats, but more the prospect of venturing closer to the actual battlefield than ever before.

He doesn't admit it to anyone that he is terrified and scared, not even to his best friends and teammates, Inoichi and Chouza.

He is so wrapped up in his nervousness that he barely misses the dark, gleeful look that overtakes Ryoga-sensei's face for mere moments, and the unnatural expression on the normally laid-back Jonin's face sets off alarm bells in his head. He curses himself for not paying more attention, especially when the Hokage sets down the mission list and looks at him and his team expectedly.

"Ne, Hokage-sama, which missions are most urgent?" his sensei asks calmly, though with an unmistakable glint in his eye. Shikaku sees this and sends the man a nervous look.

The aged man's lips quirk into a smile of amusement and mischief, though smiling rather benignly. "The courier mission to the outpost near the Kusa border is rather important..."

"We can handle it, Hokage-sama!" Inoichi says boastfully, his chest puffing up. Shikaku looks at him in exasperation, though with a slight grin, and catches Chouza's eye.

_Peacock_ , Shikaku mouths behind Inoichi's back, and although Ryoga-sensei loks down at him with raised eyebrows he snickers along as Chouza fights to hold his laughter.

Hokage-sama smiles at Inoichi, and Shikaku marvels how the man manages to not look patronizing at all. "While I'm sure you are very capable, Inoichi-kun, it's up to your sensei to decide which missions you are prepared for. Though... if courier duties are a bit too much, the Lady Damiyo has requested a retrieval mission within the bounds of the village, to be carried out immediately."

"I think we'll take the retrieval mission for today," Ryoga-sensei says mildly, his excited eyes betraying his calm exterior. "Start these guys on something nice and easy first."

"Aww, sensei," Inoichi gripes, bordering on whining, and this time even Chouza sighs.

"Maa, maa, a retrieval mission's no joke either, Inoichi," Ryoga-sensei scolds lightly, but Shikaku recognizes the false levity in his sensei's voice. There is carefully hidden glee beneath the placating tone, and suddenly Shikaku is hit by a wave of dread.

"Perhaps we should take the courier mission, sensei," Shikaku says carefully, trying to hide his discomfort. "Aren't courier missions supposed to be easier and safer than retrievals? It'd be more logical to take the courier one, especially since we can practice our travel formations and tree hopping."

Ryoga-sensei pats Shikaku's head, ignoring the disgruntled look on his face, and says, "But this courier mission would take us out of the village, whereas the retrieval is limited to Konoha's boundaries. This lowers the difficulty and danger levels significantly, to the point where it may as well be a D-rank mission... so we'll take the retrieval, Hokage-sama!"

Shikaku doesn't miss the shared look between his sensei and the Hokage as the mission scroll passes hands, and bites his lip.  _How troublesome_.

"Thank you, sir," Ryoga says, herding Shikaku and his teammates to the door. "By your leave, Hokage-sama."

The moment the door closes, Ryoga gives them an unnaturally large grin as he scans the scroll. "To the roof, my little Genin! Our target was last seen in the Market District, so that'll be a good place for you to start."

"Who're we looking for sensei?" Chouza asks.

"Well our client kindly included a picture of the target, which makes things a lot easier on your three," Ryoga-sensei muses in disappointment, and Shikaku can't help but liken the image of the man to a petulant child. "But here it is! Lady Tora-chan!"

Shikaku looks between the image and his sensei's smiling face once, twice, and three times, before his eye starts twitching. "Our target... is the Lady Damiyo's pet?"

"Well, the official title is Lady Tora no Honeko," Ryoga-sensei corrects him mildly. "Lady Tora is an exceptionally important figure amongst the Fire Court's feline populace."

"But... it's a  _cat_ ," Chouza says in disbelief, looking terribly confused.

"A very important cat, Chouza," Ryoga-sensei chides, and Inoichi finally explodes.

"What d'you mean  _very important_? It's a damn  ** _cat_**!" Inoichi sputters indignantly, somehow managing to look both offended and amused. "Are you serious, sensei? This is D-rank work!"

Ryoga-sensei looks at them with a cheerful smile. "Perhaps, but it's being paid like a C-rank, Inoichi. Which means four times the pay."

At the glint in the blonde boy's green eyes, Shikaku sighs and looks at Chouza, exchanging equally frustrated looks. Inoichi's greed is somewhat of a contention point amongst them, and as much as Shikaku likes Inoichi as a friend, he isn't blind nor immune to the faults in the blonde Yamanaka.

Not to say that he, Chouza, or even Ryoga-sensei are perfect by any means, but Inoichi's flaws are so obnoxious that he eclipses all three of them.

"Well it looks like I'll be able to buy those exploding tags after all." Inoichi smirks, and Shikaku nearly groans as confidence and assurance spills over Inoichi's form. "Let's do this guys!"

Inoichi bounds off in the direction of the Hokage Monument, looking all the while like a pervert with Tsunade-sama at his heels. Shikaku and Chouza make to follow their enthusiastic teammate, but are stopped by a hand on their shoulders.

"Mission ends at sunset, so make sure you have the right cat," Ryoga-sensei says with a grin. "And by the way, he's going the wrong way."

This time, Chouza heaves a sigh too.

* * *

"Well, this is most unexpected." Hiruzen takes a few puffs on his pipe, looking over the three roughed up Genin standing in front of him in both embarrassment and shame.

Ryoga sighs, shaking his head in disappointment, but sends Hiruzen a quick, devious grin over the lowered heads of his Genin team. "Team Ryoga, reporting the retrieval mission a failure, sir."

Hiruzen sighs theatrically, years of practice allowing him to quell the smile threatening to rise on his lips. "I suppose it had to happen at some point."

"We're very sorry, sir," the Akimichi boy murmurs, and the Yamanaka and Nara boy at his sides echo the sentiment. Hiruzen barely hears the blonde's words, but the tell-tale redness spread across pale skin is proof enough.

"As team captain, sir, I take responsibility for the failure of this mission," Ryoga says seriously. "Therefore, I volunteer my team for the same mission every day until it has been fulfilled."

The utter horror that blooms on the faces of the three young shinobi is enough so that once he is alone, Hiruzen bursts into laughter.

* * *

**"If you do not expect the unexpected you will not find it, for it is not to be reached by search or trail."**  - Heraclitus


	3. Arc I, Childhood: Sunshine / Yellow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Takashi wonders why his teammate stares at him so much.

It starts from the very first day of the formation of his Genin team nearly a year ago.

His first teammate turns out to be a consummate Hyuuga down to the five-foot pole stuck up her ass, with a side helping of arrogance and an over-inflated ego to boot. For mere moments he mentally laments the fact that he is stuck with one of the founding clan children instead of someone less prominent, but he is observant enough to spot the pale, markless forehead the girl, Hikari, bears proudly.

 _Main branch Hyuuga_ , he thinks.  _That means our Jounin sensei can't be that bad. Thank Kami-sama for small favors._

His second teammate is a girl called Tenten, who he recognizes as one of the best taijutsu fighters in his year, if not the best, regardless of her orphan status. She is short and plain compared to the noble beauty of Hikari - to his own eyes she is rather mousy looking with those buns of hers - but he knows better than to underestimate her. He is one of many witnesses to the numerous schoolyard brawls during his Academy years, and in nearly every single one of them his now-teammate had come out on top with a ruthlessness that, at the time, surprised him.

Academy students, particularly civilian-born ones, were never known to have the viciousness needed to become shinobi. For a clan-less orphan to possess something so dark made Takashi both wary and fearful at first. Now, as a Genin, it makes him respectful.

It is obvious though, from the surprise and confusion registering on her face, that she does not recognize him at first. He isn't hurt by the fact. Despite his Academy performance placing him securely in the high-middle rankings of their class, he is easily forgettable with no special techniques or clan name to pull him into the spotlight; he prefers it this way.

What  _does_  catch him off guard is the way his new teammate's eyes are trained on his spiky blonde hair, and it makes him flush. The amber, wheat-colored strands stand out in the more common black and brown that most Konoha citizens possess, but like his relatives in the Lightening Country he has bright, bold hair that stands out against his olive, tanned skin. His mother enjoys likening it to ripened grain, but he prefers just calling it gold, because it sounds less girly that way.

The first few months, he shrugs off the frequent glances at his head as a fascination with the exotic color - after all, it is an uncommon color, in Konoha anyways. Regardless, it makes him slightly uncomfortable when he catches her doing it. She looks away quickly enough most of the time, but sometimes Tenten holds his questioning eyes with an unreadable expression. It is unnerving, and it secretly makes him ashamed that he is always the first to avert his eyes when she does this. His only comfort is the fact that she always murmurs a soft apology when he looks away, recognizing his discomfort.

He would be more creeped out if she wasn't so easy with her smiles, and the genuine warmth in her brown eyes reassure him... if only a little.

After half a year, he notices she stares at his hair less and less, but more and more at his face. He gets the weird feeling she is analyzing him, as if committing every stand of hair and facial tick to memory in case of the day she meets an impostor posing as him. He can feel her brown eyes boring into the back of his head, into his cheek, into his forehead.

And when he meets her eyes in moments of boldness and courage, she does not hold his gaze. Her eyes dart over his face, subtle enough that he does not notice it the first few times, but now it is glaringly obvious as he observes her. At first he thinks it is just him who has this rather... odd privilege, but he sees her do it to Hikari, and to Kushina-sensei as well.

It disproves one of his many theories - Kami-sama forbid if she has a crush on him, or is one of those stalker types - but the creepiness begins to fade, only that it is replaced with curiosity.

As the one year anniversary of their team formation approaches, one day he suddenly notices the analyzing, observing looks nearly cease to exist. Now, it is his turn to look at her... and he knows she knows, if the quirk of her lips each time is any indication. He tries to figure out what caused such a drastic change. Is it the missions the team takes? Her first kill? A loss of a loved one? The war?

He ponders upon it until he cannot take it any more, and so one day he asks her point blank.

"Why aren't you staring at me anymore?"

"... Excuse me?" She raises an eyebrow in amusement and surprise, and he flushes at the awkward wording of his question.

"I'm not... I... I don't  _like_  you or anything, okay?!" He winces at how much he trips over his own words as he stammers. "I... I mean, in that way... like-"

"Relax, Takashi." She flashes him that smile again, and the nervous tension drains out of his shoulders. "I know what you mean."

The blush doesn't leave his face, but he fidgets under Tenten's gaze as he says, "I... You used to watch me... a lot. Hikari and Kushina-sensei too. But now... you don't anymore. Almost never. So... I'm just wondering why."

He can't help but smile to himself when Tenten's cheeks redden and she looks to the ground, mulling over what to say in response. He takes the silence as a chance to watch her more closely, and inside he smirks.  _Heh. She's cute when she's embarrassed._

"I..." She swallows visibly, looking decidedly nervous, and it is his turn to raise the questioning eyebrow. "It's nothing."

He notes the way she subtly fiddles with the hem of her top, one of her few tells when she lies. "I wouldn't say that."

She sighs, and he is startled when he sees defeat and sorrow painted on her features. "Look, it's really... it's stupid, okay? It's kind of dumb, actually... I mean, it's just... well, you and Hikari and sensei, you remind me of some friends I... used to have."

He frowns. "... Used to have?"

She shrugs, smiling sadly. "They... they aren't here anymore."

"They moved out of the village? When we're in war?" He is confused. "But Konoha's laws state that no civilian nor shinobi can leave the confines of the village during wartime."

"They were gone a long time ago... before the war," comes Tenten's melancholy response.

"Because of the rumors, right?" he says knowingly. "Well, at least they're safe now, but they've got to come back someday, right? Konoha's the best hidden village in all the Elemental Countries... all we gotta do is win and they can come back, right?" He winces a little at his irrational logic, but Tenten doesn't seem to even notice.

Instead, her voice is hopeful and wistful as she replies. "... Yeah."

He smiles in relief, if anything happy to bring her out of her sadder memories, and decides to save figuring out the mystery that is his teammate for other days. "You want to come to my place for dinner? Kaa-san's making  _onigiri_  tonight."

This brings a slight smile out of her. "You and your  _onigiri_. Let me guess: salmon?"

"No!" He puts on an affronted expression, making Tenten laugh. "Kaa-san's using  _umeboshi_  and  _negihama_. She says I eat too much _sake_  anyways."

His grumblings do the job of bringing a full smile out of his teammate, and as he walks next to her, he says, "So tell me about these friends of yours. What're they like?"

Tenten tilts her head up to face the sun, basking in the early evening glow. As she begins to speak, he is glad when her face relaxes and her steps seem to lighten. "Well... I guess I'll start with the leader of our little group. Y'see, there's this boy called Naruto, and he has sunshine hair that looks almost exactly like yours..."

* * *

 **"There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you."**  - Maya Angelou


	4. Arc I, Childhood: Jade / Green

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Biwako doesn't believe until her bracelet breaks.

On the day of her thirteenth birthday, years before she becomes a Sarutobi, Biwako receives a gift from her mother in the form of a pale stone bracelet. It is the kind that she sees old grandmothers and mothers wear, a circle of polished green that is too small to slide off, and she immediately doesn't like it.

"But I don't want a stupid bracelet," she whines, her nose scrunching up in distaste as she lets the too-large bangle slide off her hand and to the carpeted floor. "I wanted a katana for my birthday!"

He mother only smiles at her patiently, bending down to retrieve the bracelet and taking Biwako's hand. "Do you know what jade means, Bi-chan?"

Biwako sighs in exasperation, anticipating a lecture, but her mother firmly slides the stone jewelry onto her wrist again with a serious expression that catches Biwako's attention.

"Jade has a natural energy that is very close to your body's chakra," her mother explains, stroking the smooth green surface with her fingers. "It helps balance your natural chakra by filtering it through the stone, and it protects you from harm. When you are happy the stone becomes brighter and more beautiful, and when you are ill the stone turns dull."

At this, Biwako snorts. "Like some kind of mood ring? Yeah right, kaa-chan. Like some stone's gonna save me from a kunai or something."

The older woman raises an eyebrow at the girl's condescending tone and sighs. "Laugh all you want, Bi-chan. Jade protects you - it heals you and brings you safety."

"Oh really?"

"Do you remember your first mission outside village walls, the one where you came back in a coma for weeks before finally waking up?" Biwako sobers at the memory, remembering how the first thing she saw was her mother sitting at her bedside praying to the gods.

"You stayed with me the entire time," the girl says softly, and the woman nods.

"Yes." Her mother says, smiling sadly. "I prayed to the gods and to Kami-sama herself three times a day to bring you back to me. Ten days after your return the jade bracelet your obaa-chan gave me broke into pieces... lo and behold, a week later you woke up."

Her answer is a weary, impatient huff. "There's something called coincidence, kaa-chan."

Biwako rolls her eyes, and finally her mother stands up in resignation, sighing. "You can believe me or not, Bi-chan, but promise me you won't take it off. It'll ease my heart just a little more knowing you're protected when you go out there."

She is reluctant, but Biwako concedes. "I promise."

* * *

Despite her dislike for the clunky piece of jewelry, Biwako faithfully slides it on her wrist every morning. At first she has to tie the bangle to her wrist with string, but over the years the string becomes unnecessary and the bracelet will stay on her wrist of its own accord.

Biwako is eighteen when the bangle is finally too small to slip off her hand, and by then she has to get used to the feeling of having that very tiny extra weight on her left hand. She believes it will stay on her wrist forever, because at that age five years seems like a very long time and she doesn't think it will break anytime soon. And as the years pass, she comes to know the stone circlet like a part of her own body.

* * *

She hides it under her sleeve during battle, pressed against her skin, and it is a reminder of the home and family she is fighting for. She guards it subconsciously, protecting it under armored gloves, and at one point she nearly cries when she accidentally deflects a shuriken with the stone jewelry. But through it all, through the blood and sweat and tears, it remains whole and unbroken and solid, and Biwako begins to believe her mother's story about the bangle breaking was just that - a story.

* * *

She lets it hang from her wrist, open and proud as she takes the hand of her husband during their marriage ceremony, a reminder of her old family as she enters a new one. On their wedding night when his hands are intertwined with hers, the jewelry encircles her wrist like a promise of love, and the next morning Biwako wakes up to the sensation of cool stone and soft breaths upon her pulse, her husband's lips and fingers running along the beautiful, polished jade.

* * *

She breaks her own wrist in an effort to rip off the bangle when she discovers her mother's death by the hands of an infiltrating squad of Kumo shinobi masquerading as missing-nin. They were after her for being the Hokage's mother-in-law, and in knowing this Biwako cries and sobs and screams at her mother for foolishly believing in a stupid piece of carved rock. She cannot remove the jade bracelet without amputating her own hand, she discovers later, and she leaves it on her newly-healed wrist with a bitter heart and bitter eyes reflected in the stone's dull surface.

* * *

She vows to never give a jade bracelet to her daughters, if she ends up having any. When her first child is born, Biwako's first emotion is relief, relief that her child is a boy and not a girl, relief that she will not have to give her daughter a useless piece of jewelry for the sake of tradition and honoring her mother's memory. She names the child Ren, and in her joy and happiness she doesn't see the stone turn a brilliant, deep green.

* * *

She does not believe in the jade the way her mother did, but when the bracelet on her wrist loses all its shine hours her second child is born, Biwako cannot help the gripping fear in her stomach. She sleeps with one eye open every day afterwards, keeping little Asuma close to her chest as she waits and watches, despite her husband's reassurances. The feeling escalates until the day of the welcoming festival, and that is when she truly becomes fearful.

* * *

She does not see the bracelet cracking but she definitely hears it, and by then it is too late. The green stone ring shatters into pieces and falls into the dirt with soft thumps, and all she can do is stare and stare and stare at the broken remains of what was part of her for so long. The lightness of her left hand is odd, as if there are bones or muscles missing, and Biwako pastes a smile on her face to hide the panic she is feeling, panic that manifests itself all too soon when her world is lit in a chaotic explosion of smoke and fire... and suddenly, Ren is gone.

She thinks back to her mother as ninjas surround her to protect the Hokage's family from the enemy ninjas aiming to capture her and little Asuma. She thinks back to what her mother told her, how jade can protect and save someone, and for that moment Biwako forgets about how the bracelet didn't work to save her mother. She just  _prays_  for her son, hoping and begging to the gods to bring him back to her.

* * *

When the girl in the miko costume appears with little Ren cradled in her arms, the sense of relief and utter joy that comes crashing down on Biwako is overwhelming, so overwhelming that she stops her husband from being a Hokage and reminds him that he is a father, first and foremost.

Biwako visits her mother's grave the week after, bringing out a polished ring of jade from her robes and tying it to her mother's cremation urn with a red ribbon. The bangle matches the one encircling her left wrist, and after so many years of pretending and disbelieving, she finally understands.

She brings the pieces of her old bracelet to the best stone carver in Konoha, who takes the three largest pieces and shapes them into leaves, all etched in with Konoha's symbol. Biwako fashions the carvings into pendants and gives the two smaller ones to her sons, gifting the largest one to her husband.

He is not one to be superstitious, but nevertheless, he tucks the little piece of jade into his robes after a little persuasion with a humoring smile on his face.

* * *

" **It's the repetition of affirmations that leads to belief. And once that belief becomes a deep conviction, things begin to happen."**  - Muhammad Ali

 


	5. Arc I, Childhood: Indigo / Blue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is one label amongst many that Hikari doesn't mind.

Labels are as familiar to Hyuuga Hikari as her own chakra. Growing up as a Main branch member of one of Konoha's noble founding clans, she has spent her entire life struggling to live under the labels and expectations of her overbearing family.

* * *

 _Graceful_. Contrary to rumors, the so-called 'Hyuuga grace' is neither innate nor instinctive. It is honed and cultivated and nurtured under the watchful eyes of the clan elders, each of whom take careful consideration of her progress and respond with sharp words and harsher criticisms. She bites back her retorts, until she snaps and carelessly throws a scathing remark in their direction.

"And yet, you seem to have lost all of your own vaulted  _grace_!"

She is punished with a round of  _Hakke Rokujūyon Shō_ , left to unblock her overloaded tenketsu on her own after being sent to her room without her evening meal. To this day, she believes the look on the elders' faces was worth it.

* * *

 _Postured_. She thinks of it as such a meaningless, silly thing, but she suffers under the countless lessons on posture and protocol with not a single complaint. She has lost track of the number of items that she has balanced at the crown of her head: porcelain cups filled with scalding hot water, a stack of plates that threaten to hit the door frames, a scroll balanced perfectly on one end with the tassel tickling her ear.

She never looks at her reflection as she does this, embarrassed at how ridiculous she must look and afraid that she will be distracted enough to let the items balancing on her head fall.

After all, it has happened to her before, and once was more than enough.

* * *

 _Prudent_. While the clan elders may like to think that wisdom comes only with age, she is not so narrow-minded. There are sensibilities she possesses that she cannot find in her own father, sensibilities like cleaning her own room by herself or using the grass to clear most of the mud off her sandals to save the cleaners that extra effort. The way she sees it, she won't end up like her father, who punishes the maid for misplacing his scrolls and the cleaners for delivering his sandals late.

She starts to think not only does age bring wisdom, it also brings a loss of sense and courtesy. Because in the end, if she can save someone just a little bit of effort by doing something so simple as scraping her sandaled feet through the grass or dusting her own room, what's the harm?

In reality, it because Hikari is already too much like her father for her liking.

* * *

 _Composed_. If stoicism by clan was ever a contest, she has decided that the Hyuuga clan would win, hands down. She had once thought the Aburame would trump her clan in this one instance, but the kikachu-wielding family has the protection of high-collared coats and large hoods and tinted goggles, whereas her family has nothing to hide themselves but their own skin. Logical detachment and removed indifference are the masks she must master even before entering the Academy.

She finds it disappointing that composure is equated with emotionlessness within her clan, because when she attends dinners at the Fire Capital and mingles with other noble girls, they find it so, so  _easy_  to smile and laugh and be happy without losing any of their calm poise.

Hikari herself has only learned to project cool detachment, and can only watch and wish.

* * *

 _Deadly_. She mistakenly believes this applies only to shinobi, but she is surprised to learn that all Hyuuga, Main and Branch members alike, are taught how to kill a man, albeit with different tools. But while the Main branch relies on the  _Juuken_  and the _Juuken_  only, she is fascinated by the other half of her family.

When she sneaks into the Branch family training grounds, she is in awe of the destroyed earth and bloodied ground, leftover from the ninjutsu and kenjutsu spars she secretly observes from afar. They are deadly in a way she longs to be, and it is all too soon when she is overwhelmed by the sheer monotony of practicing her Juuken stances day after day.

The first time she manages to infuse her chakra into her evening tea, she smiles.

* * *

 _Strong_. Nobody has to tell her that she needs to be strong. Born into her position and choosing her profession, being weak was never an option to begin with, and she doesn't stop to even linger on her weaknesses. If anything, it is one thing she and the elders agree on - she hates the flaws that eat at her strength, and she does all she can to eliminate anything that can cost her in the long run.

When she works, sweats, and bleeds herself down to the bone, she always lets herself momentarily believe that she is strong enough. She fantasizes, for that brief moment, that she has no weaknesses, and she is all strength.

Then reality comes crashing down, and she knows she is not strong enough. Not yet.

* * *

 _Diligent_. It is confusing to her that diligence within her clan compound's walls means something different than it does outside of that barrier. To other shinobi, the word is exactly what it means - working hard and striving to improve and excel through perseverance, rigor, and dedication. For others, that means climbing the ladder of success higher and higher, with a seemingly endless path of possibilities ahead - always something new to learn, something to improve upon, something to change.

For her, diligence is practicing her  _Juuken_  katas with religious zeal. It feels all wrong to her, and initially she starts imagining the different ways opponents could defeat the signature Hyuuga taijutsu, just for fun. It becomes less fun when she realizes how large her list becomes.

It is crippling when she is beaten every day by the orphan who is her new teammate.

* * *

 _Proud_. She finds that the pride she holds as a Hyuuga becomes her downfall. Somehow, for everyone in her family, pride in their clan's ancestry and history has warped into arrogance and conceit, and she has learned the hard way that too much hubris is always followed by a larger serving of humility.

It is by far too difficult to accept the truth, and so it is beaten into her day by day by her teammates and her sensei. Everything her clan has imposed on her is stripped away, and she learns quickly that in the shinobi world, labels mean nothing - regardless of who you are at home, in battle you still bleed the same red as everyone else.

It takes a while to sink in - she is not invincible simply because she is a Hyuuga.

* * *

 _Silent_. A noble shinobi clan the Hyuuga may be, but just like the rest of the world it is a male-dominated community, ruled by chauvinistic male ideas of female gender roles. For her it is especially infuriating, because although she is a Hyuuga and a kunoichi, she is first and foremost a female - and females, especially of the Hyuuga variety, are expected to be seen, and not heard.

It infuriates her and gnaws at her feminist side, to be forced to act as dressed up dolls with the personality of a mouse. They want silence? Well, she goes one step further.

She becomes invisible.

* * *

 _Beautiful_. Beauty was never something she paid much attention to - after all, with beauty comes attention, and that is the last thing she wants. And other things are more important, things like diligence and strength and composure and grace. Of course, although she briefly looks over herself every morning, she doesn't stop to wish that her neck wasn't so long, or that her eyes weren't set so far apart, or that her knees weren't so bony. She doesn't look at the things that make her wish for something different...

Or so she desperately tries to tell herself.

And so when her new, mousy teammate smiles at her and tells her that she has beautiful hair, "like the twilight sky," she rolls her eyes and turns away. And when that same teammate offhandedly compliments her slim figure, her pearly eyes, and her pale skin, all on different occasions, she pretends to let the words roll off her back like water.

But then she locks herself up in her room, and whispers the words to herself as she looks at her too-long neck and wide-set eyes and bony knees, and exhales slowly.

_"Beautiful."_

She feels ridiculous just saying it, and she doesn't think it's true at all, but it feels like the one thing that is hers, and she begins to smile.

* * *

 **"The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently."**  ~Friedrich Neitzsche


	6. Arc I, Childhood: Irises / Purple

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chouza kind of understands why Shikaku is so fixated now.

The Akimichi clan is genial and unassuming and warm-hearted in comparison to the elitist and isolated clans that populate Konoha, and as a whole they are characterized most by their large statures and shinobi prowess - followed very closely by a passionate love of food.

Clan heir Akimichi Chouza is no different - in many ways, he embodies his clan, built stockily with a large appetite and gentle personality to match.

But Chouza is different, different because he possesses a surprising confidence, even from an early age. It is a paradox that every Akimichi suffers, that being beloved by Konoha as adults means a rough childhood filled with bullying and spite, as children are the cruelest when it comes to ostracizing someone for simply being different.

Chouza though, does nothing. He lets the cruel taunts roll off his back like water, because who needs them when he has his best friends?

Yamanaka Inoichi is quick to raise metaphorical fire and brimstone in his defense, while Nara Shikaku is content to sit in the sidelines and watch with calculating eyes. All three of them know, however, that the way Chouza's bullies seemingly trip over nothing, causing both humiliating and painful mishaps, are the Nara boy's work. The slight, smug smirk is all the proof Chouza needs, and he is perfectly confident and content in his peaceful world.

That peace is shattered only three times in his childhood.

The first is when the welcoming festival of the Hokage's child becomes a literal bloodbath, and all he can see for weeks are dead bodies and red blood. When he sees the announcement of wartime on the Konoha notice boards, there is a drop in his stomach when he finds his parents discussing the war in hushed tones at night, and he knows that his peaceful life will never be the same.

The second comes from the fierce, mouse-like girl that Shikaku takes an obsessive interest in. The girl, Tenten, is the first girl Shikaku has ever paid any attention to, and Chouza doesn't know what to think about all of this. Inoichi writes it off as a crush, teasing the Nara boy endlessly, but Chouza can see that Shikaku's interest is more than something so... so... so  _shallow_. The glint in the sharp Nara eyes draws him to Tenten and away from Chouza, and the Akimichi fears that this may be another sign of his world breaking apart.

The third time is so sudden that Chouza doesn't have the time to think or be afraid of the impending change, but he doesn't regret it, because even though nothing will be the same, for once actually he likes it.

* * *

He isn't looking ahead as he tries to remember the hand-signs to the  _Baika no Jutsu_ , and when a smaller form crashes into him he is just surprised enough to stumble backwards and fall into the dirt, a heavy weight sprawled across him.

He groans in pain, disoriented from the sudden fall, and he opens his eyes to see blurs of brown and black and... purple?

"Kami-sama, are you alright? I'm so sorry, I wasn't looking where I was going! Are you hurt? Do you need to go to the hospital? Is there anything I can do? Someone I can call?"

"... ughh..." He can only manage a groan, head still spinning.

 _"You're bleeding!"_  he hears through the haze, and he feels the girl -  _at least he thinks it's a girl?_  - scramble off of him hastily. There are hands on his face, brushing something away, and suddenly his vision is filled with worried, wide brown eyes.

"Oh no, oh no, oh no... Baa-chan's going to kill me!" she whispers, eyes darting frantically over his face, and he finally is coherent enough to try to get off his back.

"Ugh... Sorry," he says instinctively, feeling small hands helping him sit up, and he blinks a few times, finally focusing on his unexpected attacker.

The first thing that pops into his head is how small she is. She isn't like that Tenten girl, who is short but toned, but the only word that comes to mind is  _delicate_. The girl looks like a china doll brought to life, with eyes a little too large for her face and long dark hair pulled back into a fishtail braid.

"No, no, it's my fault!" she says crossly, a look of worry crossing her face. "Oh, and of course, you're an Akimichi... Baa-chan will kill me!" He watches, half in amusement and half in disbelief, as she scuttles around him, checking over him for more injuries. Eyes wandering away from the girl's form, his eyes are drawn to the bright flowers strewn across the ground - dozens of deep purple irises.

"Saa... it's fine, it was an accident," he says gently, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. He stands up, and can't help but laugh as the girl's eyes widen more and more until he towers over her. "Are you alright?"

"Am I alright?" she repeats, staring up at him incredulously, "I should be asking you that question! You're the one bleeding from your head! Oh no, you might have a concussion, you have to go to the hospital-"

"I'm a shinobi, miss," he cuts her off politely. He touches the nick at his temple, the cut not even the size of his pinky nail, and smiles at her reassuringly. "I've had worse, don't worry."

She scrutinizes him for a heartbeat before grabbing his hand and tugging him off in some random direction, and he half-hears her say something about her baa-chan's place and patching him up.

His mind is instead focused on the flowers scattered in the street, letting the girl pull him along.

* * *

Chouza comes home later that day with a lighter wallet and a bandage over his temple, thinking back on the brilliant smile on Ito Ayame's face when she found him on her porch with a bouquet of irises, and decides that he kind of understands Shikaku now.

* * *

 **"In 'love' one has found, at last, a haven from aloneness."**  ~ Erich Fromm,  _The Art of Loving_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little piece about Chouza, because he deserves some of the spotlight too. (And because I have a so many romantic quotes I want to use but can't :P)
> 
> Ayame is an OC, but will remain a very minor character... I don't even know if she'll pop up in A&G, but we'll see :9
> 
> This is no indication of a Shikaku/Tenten pairing, but rather Chouza's speculations about the nature of Shikaku's interest in Tenten. Of course, A&G shows the interest isn't romantic in the slightest (or is it?) but keep in mind that Chouza doesn't know about Shikaku's suspicions.


	7. Arc I, Childhood: Lipstick / Pink

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yoshino's lips are painted with a pink so dark it looks red.

Her mind is blank for once, silent and still. It feels odd, a detached part of her notes absently, to have the only part of her constantly in motion suddenly stop after years of use.

"Yoshino-chan?" She looks up into the mirror, seeing Tenten's worried face behind her. Dragging her gaze away from her best friend's reflection, she examines her own with a cool sense of detachment, even as another part of her threatens to overwhelm her.

"I'm fine," she whispers, and Yoshino looks at the unfamiliar visage staring back at her lifelessly. Pale, powered skin, a dusting of color on her cheekbones, and eyes lined with thick black lines. Her lips are the only part of her face that remain untouched.

Behind her, Tenten wordlessly holds open her kimono for her, and mechanically Yoshino pushes her arms through the trailing sleeves. The weight of the kimono's outermost layer pulls down at her shoulders, and suddenly everything feels all too real.

"I don't want to marry him, Tenten-chan." Her friend looks up, a glimmer of pity and sympathy in her eyes. Normally, Yoshino wouldn't let anyone pity her, but in this instance she doesn't care. Part of her welcomes it; she would rather feel self-pity than the dread manifesting itself in her gut.

"I know." Wordlessly, Yoshino lifts her arms up and allows Tenten to wrap the thick obi around her waist, tying it with a steady hand. Part of her is curious at how practiced the motions are - considering Tenten's background and the few times they learned how to don kimonos in their kunoichi classes - but she saves the question for another time. Right now...

"Engaged," she whispers to herself, a touch of scorn in her tone, and the slight pause of Tenten behind her lets Yoshino know that her friend is listening. "Engaged at thirteen, to a man ten years older than me."

"You have until you're twenty," Tenten murmurs. "At least you'll have the time to get to know him."

Yoshino lets out a mirthless chuckle, closing her eyes. "I know him already, Tenten-chan. He's... he's..." She thinks back to the dinner parties she attended in her youth, watching her to-be-fiance gorge himself on luxury and women, remembering his greedy eyes watching her, seeing his gloat of triumph as he stood by her parents the day they told her.

She closes her eyes. "I don't want to marry him."

Tenten doesn't reply, and Yoshino knows it's because she has nothing else she can say.

"Kaa-san says that once we're married, I have to resign from the shinobi corps," Yoshino continues, speaking out loud - to whom, she doesn't know. "His mother expects at least four grandchildren, and his father wants a male heir. And he... my  _fiance_ ," she spits out, voice laced with vitriol, "expects me to allow him to keep his mistresses. He expects me to play the trophy wife, and the breeding mare. And worst of all... he expects me to give up  _everything_."

Yoshino jerks herself away from Tenten's hands, messing up the carefully arranged layers of her right kimono sleeve as she lifts her arms carelessly, laden with the weight of the heavy fabrics. She indulges is the motion spitefully, the angry and furious part of her gleeful because doing so would mean that she could stall for longer, but when Tenten catches her hands and looks into her face, Yoshino's cheekbones color in shame under the white makeup.

"Hey," Tenten's dark eyes search through Yoshino's intently. "It's okay to be mad."

Yoshino deflates at her words. Ever since the announcement of the engagement, she'd been running on polite smiles and bottled fury, letting go only once by mistake. Sharp, harsh words from her father and disappointing looks from her mother quickly quelled any other outbursts.

"I don't even understand why it has to be me," she says, a desperate tug in her gut as the words fall from her lips, her voice cracking. "Kaa-chan and tou-san... I mean, we aren't even part of the main Nakamura line, just a mercantile branch... I'm not even directly related to the main family! And my cousins are trained for this kind of thing, and they're prettier and quieter and just better for this than me, so I don't understand why... why  _me_ , why  _I'm the one he had to pick_!"

She has tears rolling down her cheeks by the end, and Tenten uses a handkerchief to pat her cheeks dry. "Because you're different than them," her friends says. "Because you have passion, and spirit, and fire - and they... he wants to break you."

"I won't let him," Yoshino spits out, "I'd rather die than become his wife!"

At the unreadable expression on Tenten's face, Yoshino's heart falters - she values Tenten's opinion above her own parents, above her own teammates, even her own sensei - and to disappoint her best friend would crush her.

Tenten's face doesn't change as she takes the pot of lip stain from the vanity table and brushes Yoshino's lips with a pink color so dark, it looks red.

Yoshino's bottom lip trembles as Tenten leads her out of the room and down the hallway, towards the sound of chatter and laughter. They stop right before the doors to the gardens, where the party is being held, and  _finally_ , her best friend turns to her and smiles.

"I'm not going to tell you what to do, Yoshino-chan," Tenten says gently, "But don't let other people take away what makes you happy."

"But my parents..."

Tenten bites her lip, brushing an errant strand of hair behind Yoshino's ear. "It's  _your_  life, Yoshino, not theirs."

Yoshino stares for a moment, before engulfing the smaller girl in a fiercely tight hug. Pulling back, she gives Tenten a brilliant smile, before pushing the doors open.

* * *

 **"You just have to do your own thing, no matter what anyone says. It's your life."** ~ Ethan Embry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Not my best work, I'll admit - but I wanted an arranged marriage scene, and Yoshino fit the bill. Her family is the most traditional amongst Tenten's circle, mainly because her family is a civilian family, and I imagine arranged marriages aren't all that uncommon were the Naruto world actually real.
> 
> A&G has been updated too, check that out!


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